I handle a vast majority of the spam complaints that we receive at work. Occasionally, the person submitting the complaint will add a note to let us know how they feel about the spam message. This is usually something to the effect of “STOP SPAMMING” and “EAT SHIT”. I’ve been processing spam complaints for a few years now, so I though that I’d seen it all … until today:
Special Emergency Message - Please read carefully
This spam is classified as one of used by terrorists to gain funds for operations in
international terrorist organizations. The Department of Homeland Security, US
Secret Service and FBI have been provided copies of this spam. You are advised
to divest yourself of this spammer as quickly as possible in order to avoid being
included in this international investigation.
This unique note was attached to a complaint about a Nigerian scam email, which was being sent out via a customer’s hacked webmail account. I looked through the headers and found that the message was sent from an IP address located somewhere in Ghana or Nigeria.
Who knew that Nigerian and Ghanaian scammers were contributing to Al Qaeda’s coffers?
Anyone who’s been to Best Buy, Walmart, and (depending on where you live) Fry’s Electronics knows all about the Bag Nazi. For those of you who don’t, the Bag Nazi is the person who stops you on your way out of the store to have a look at your receipt and dig through your bag to sure you haven’t stolen anything.
As a customer of these establishments, this really pisses me off. There are at least two dozen stores that sell electronics in my area. Knowing this, Best Buy chooses to reward me for doing business with them by having a loss prevention employee harass me for a receipt as I’m walking out of the store. This would be perfectly acceptable if I was spotted opening boxes and stuffing their contents into my pockets — but I’ve never done this. At Best Buy, I walk in, take what I need, and walk straight to the check-out area. I pay, take my item, and head for the door. Regardless, Best Buy’s loss prevention people still ask to see my receipt every time I’m trying to leave the store.
Until a few months ago, I had no problem showing my receipt, and leaving the Bag Nazi with an antecdote (”didn’t steal anything today”, etc.) on my way out. This was all perfectly acceptable until one day there was a lengthy line of at least 15 people waiting to have their receipts checked.
At that point, I decided that I had better things to do with my time, and that I would not be waiting in line just to have some guy glance at my receipt and mark it with his highlighter. This was something I’d never done before, so I made a plan while I waited for my turn to pay for my purchase. I would maneuver around the line at a regular walking pace, step out of the store, and walk directly to my car. A clean getaway.
And that’s exactly what I did. So, what happened? Did the Bag Nazi stop what he was doing so that he could chase me through the parking lot? Was the police called? Did Best Buy release the Geek Squad so that they could run me down with their black and white Beetles?
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