I handle a vast majority of the spam complaints that we receive at work. Occasionally, the person submitting the complaint will add a note to let us know how they feel about the spam message. This is usually something to the effect of “STOP SPAMMING” and “EAT SHIT”. I’ve been processing spam complaints for a few years now, so I though that I’d seen it all … until today:
Special Emergency Message – Please read carefully
This spam is classified as one of used by terrorists to gain funds for operations in
international terrorist organizations. The Department of Homeland Security, US
Secret Service and FBI have been provided copies of this spam. You are advised
to divest yourself of this spammer as quickly as possible in order to avoid being
included in this international investigation.
This unique note was attached to a complaint about a Nigerian scam email, which was being sent out via a customer’s hacked webmail account. I looked through the headers and found that the message was sent from an IP address located somewhere in Ghana or Nigeria.
Who knew that Nigerian and Ghanaian scammers were contributing to Al Qaeda’s coffers?
Anyone who’s been to Best Buy, Walmart, and (depending on where you live) Fry’s Electronics knows all about the Bag Nazi. For those of you who don’t, the Bag Nazi is the person who stops you on your way out of the store to have a look at your receipt and dig through your bag to sure you haven’t stolen anything.
As a customer of these establishments, this really pisses me off. There are at least two dozen stores that sell electronics in my area. Knowing this, Best Buy chooses to reward me for doing business with them by having a loss prevention employee harass me for a receipt as I’m walking out of the store. This would be perfectly acceptable if I was spotted opening boxes and stuffing their contents into my pockets — but I’ve never done this. At Best Buy, I walk in, take what I need, and walk straight to the check-out area. I pay, take my item, and head for the door. Regardless, Best Buy’s loss prevention people still ask to see my receipt every time I’m trying to leave the store.
Until a few months ago, I had no problem showing my receipt, and leaving the Bag Nazi with an antecdote (“didn’t steal anything today”, etc.) on my way out. This was all perfectly acceptable until one day there was a lengthy line of at least 15 people waiting to have their receipts checked.
At that point, I decided that I had better things to do with my time, and that I would not be waiting in line just to have some guy glance at my receipt and mark it with his highlighter. This was something I’d never done before, so I made a plan while I waited for my turn to pay for my purchase. I would maneuver around the line at a regular walking pace, step out of the store, and walk directly to my car. A clean getaway.
And that’s exactly what I did. So, what happened? Did the Bag Nazi stop what he was doing so that he could chase me through the parking lot? Was the police called? Did Best Buy release the Geek Squad so that they could run me down with their black and white Beetles?
Read more…
In no particular order:
1. Florida is a lot bigger than you might think. To put it into perspective: it takes about 7 hours to pass through Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. This somehow makes me feel like I’ve made a lot of progress, and that one more state can’t take too much longer. However, once you’ve reached Pensacola, you’ve got another 7.5 hours of driving to look forward to. Driving through Florida makes up over 50% of the driving on this trip.
2. Finding an open rest stop in Mississippi is almost impossible. I’ve done this trip three times now, and every time I went, there was only one open rest stop throughout all of Mississippi. The rest were blown down by Katrina or something, and have yet to be rebuilt.
3. You can easily drive the entire ~1000 mile trip without stopping at a motel for the night. I like to leave Houston around 3AM, get all the boring Texas driving out of the way before sunrise, and then enjoy a nice trip during daylight hours. If you time things properly, you should be able to make it to Orlando before sunset. If you need to take a nap, Florida’s rest stops are a great choice. See below.
4. Florida has the best rest stops by far. Well maintained, clean facilities. Night-time security at almost all locations. You can tell based on the rest stops alone that Florida really loves its tourists.
5. Taking the I-12 shortcut in Louisiana is not a good idea. Taking I-12 instead of I-10 will bring you away from New Orleans, and shave about 25 minutes off the trip — but the drive is very dull, and I-12′s shoulders are full of roadkill. Given my previous luck with roadside fauna, taking this shortcut is not a good idea, especially at night.
6. Louisiana has very nice rest stops. The Atchafalaya Welcome Center is actually located in the middle of a swamp. Very peaceful, very well built. What’s especially nice about this rest stop is that truck parking is far away from the car parking. Anyone who’s ever tried to take a nap while parked next to a noisy diesel truck should know what I’m going on about.
7. Thought gas prices were high in Texas? Try leaving the state. Gas in Houston was around $3.39/gallon when I drove to Orlando back in April. The same fuel cost about $3.75/gallon when I filled up again in Ocala.
8. Florida really loves its toll roads. It’s almost impossible to get anywhere in the metropolitan Orlando area without taking a toll road. Hell, you have to take a toll road (Florida’s Turnpike) just to get to Orlando. On the upside, the roads are very well maintained, and roadside services are top-notch.
9. Pollo Tropical really kicks ass. Why they haven’t opened locations back home in Texas is beyond me. 
You can’t beat a TropiChop after a hard day’s work. This tidbit isn’t really about the drive, but I’m running low on ideas for the rest of this entry, so I’m going to include this.
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